I Cried at Work

It’s not what you think. Nobody was rude. Nobody was unkind. It was on me — I take a lot of accountability as a leader. I want my team to win, and I take real pride in watching them succeed. So when something goes sideways, even something small, I feel it like it’s mine to carry.

Have you ever been in a work environment where one mistake caused so much disruption you found yourself walking on eggshells long after everything sizzled? I have. Too many times. But that wasn’t this. This was just me, holding myself to a standard no one else was asking for.

I understand people’s emotions for a living. It’s one of my greatest strengths as a leader but it’s also my weakness. I let my overthinking and fear get loud enough to overpower everything else. And when that happens, some part of me wants to add salt into the wound by tearing myself down further, tell myself I’m disappointed.

But didn’t my anxiety already do that?

So instead, I wrote. Got through my morning meetings, left my desk, and sat down on the sofa to put my emotions into words instead of carrying it silently for the rest of the day.

I let my tears fall. I let myself feel it, instead of just replaying it in my head on a loop.

The tears now are catharsis, not collapse. An ending to a beginning. The release my soul had been asking for, long before I was ready to let it go.

In this moment, leaning on one of a thousand accent pillows on a Thursday afternoon, I’m allowing myself grace.

For one ordinary moment, I’m remembering this: Grace. Peace. Love. Forgiveness.